Saturday, May 10, 2003
as i sat down and smoothed my skirt
she held me and planted a kiss on my cheeks
reflections dance across my almond brown tinted eyes and mold me into the clay i was slowing sinking into. You only smile and i promise i see confetti waltzing in the breeze like leaves falling from the trees on a cool autumn afternoon. i can erase everything except for your silhouette plastered across my mind, but perhaps that is simply because You are the only piece of reality that has ever made my taste buds tingle in delight. and You can erase everything except for my sunkissed smile because i can only smile at that slice of sunshine You painted that has ever brightened up my days. good thing i am moulded in this clay with Your arms wrapped around me because this is where i want to stay.
is it strange how i spend my times these days. getting cheery every saturday with my worship and praise on my lips. it is ironic really. the way life twists and turns. i am on this rollercoaster and it never ends. i was riding the waves. i was taking the falls. and i was vomitting up all the bullshit i used to swallow down. used to ask if there was a better way to take those pills. to shoot it up. inhale, exhale. where was i going with that. where was i going in life. down the drain. passed out of the floor of a bedroom with pills in my hand. was i an ending. or a beginning. nothing seemed clear. i was tearing apart everything that used to be real. was i dreaming. or was everything crashing down. was i free. or were those bars surrounding me. was it strange how i spent my time those days. wearing myself out. doing nothing at all. dwelling on thoughts that meant nothing at all.
so fast and it was gone leaving me counting upon my fingers how many silly memories i had of myself. maybe we all crash and burn at some point in our lives. maybe we all fall. picking up the pieces just isn't on everyone's agenda. but arent you so glad there's this great Him up there to pick up the fallen you? wells, i am.
][jukebox][ david meece - forgiven
][feeling][ assurred.
a hazy shady greyed solitude enveloped in my paper heart
but no. im not gonna fall apart
shoes is giving me pressure with the dance of the blessed spirits. -shakes head- i havent been playing classical on the piano for a long long time. esp for exams. and now she wants me to do it, i feel so. urgh. not up to it. though it's a lento piece. the whole thing is semi-quavered! sheesh. and the keys run like more than an octave apart. but im doing pretty fine for only page one of the scores. looking at the second page full of semiquavers just makes me go bonkers. -hops around- im actually in a pretty hyper mood after fiddling with my clavinova. was deciding whether i should write out skin on skin or shen qing xiang yong on the organ. cos these two songs have been ringing in my head recently. was about to settle on skin on skin when i listened to it again and felt it's more bossa nova style and repetitive and it's on the fsharp major. whereas shen qing xiang yong is on e major and has more variations one the left hand and pedals. makes me feel better. -grinns. i really love songs with powerful vocals. am crossing my fingers about fel being able to reach high on our song. was getting the chorus notes fixed and you know what. the highest note is e. tried to lower it but... -shakes head-. the arranger should do it right, shoes? -pictures her jumping up and down outside the mep room after she saw her name on the list as an arranger- when asked what's wrong with her, she exclaims ever so excitedly, "that's what joe hahn does!" now. do you want a turntable too shoes? and i thought of sth for val to do besides coming up with the lyrics. that is.... -drum rolls- the role of a dancer! yes! toe! you can do a lil ballet if we ever get a chance to perform. know youre like worried and upset you can't be on stage. -wide wide grinns-
tonight's ami was real red. you know why? cos clay was oh so good. but there was sth wrong with the size of his oh so magical blue eyes. but im so happy joshua gracin is out!!! buhbye! the real talents are still on the couch. -grinns- today has been so good cos i got to nap in the afternoon and do some reading. and i was trying to study ss a minute ago. but that was such an agony. mens. my sister is one jealous girl. it's proven and tested you know. she gets jealous over the slightest stuff. not being able to draw or have new shoes is not a very great deal, val.
sat's service's gonna be an eye opener to many of you out there. hahs. and of cos, myself. but coming to think of it, a new beginning will always make an impact. -walks off to curl in a corner for nightly prayers-
][jukebox][ shen qing xiang yong
][feeling][ pretty hyped.
now. you know i love you, dont you?
god. god. god. god. youre all i need. period.
][jukebox][ steven curtis chapman - when love takes you in
][feeling][ shagged
zonked.
im like so zonked. did outdoor filming today. was really hilarious. just praying they wont put in on hopenews bloopers or something. taught wynnie cheong how to play the piano. -shakes head- mens. what a student. hahas. had organ lessons after that followed by shepherding. was chatting with jessie on my bed til both of us fell aslp. she was curled up at one end of the bed and me at the other. and i woke up at ten to realise she was gone and ive seven chapters of chemistry to study for tomms. and im hacing a very bad flu now. sighs. and toe just msged me she's not goin to sch tomms. and my bro just emailed me a whole lot more chunks of stuff to do for him. ahhs. im not feeling well now.
][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal
][feeling][ sick
it's been nine months :)
so exciting. -beamms- my bro's getting married. -rubs hands in delight- can't wait. really. to see him settle down and all. yea. i'll go to his condo everyday mens. it's facing the sea. cool rights. -grinns- and the wedding dinner's gonna be in the knighty style. cos he's a captain in the army. how cool. mmmmms. fullerton. mmmmms. nice food. mmmmms. can't wait.
anyways. had an enjoyable dinner today with eelee jessie debbie shuping huishi. nice nice. under the night sky. lol. nice fellowship. shared really lame jokes. jessie's "leg pulling" joke was a good one. -nod nods- oh wells. tired. let's not get to the details of the day. =)
][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal [hooked onto it]
][feeling][ zonked.
sighs. fred. youre sucha nag. anyways, here! peter and you.
:)
she held me and planted a kiss on my cheeks
reflections dance across my almond brown tinted eyes and mold me into the clay i was slowing sinking into. You only smile and i promise i see confetti waltzing in the breeze like leaves falling from the trees on a cool autumn afternoon. i can erase everything except for your silhouette plastered across my mind, but perhaps that is simply because You are the only piece of reality that has ever made my taste buds tingle in delight. and You can erase everything except for my sunkissed smile because i can only smile at that slice of sunshine You painted that has ever brightened up my days. good thing i am moulded in this clay with Your arms wrapped around me because this is where i want to stay.
is it strange how i spend my times these days. getting cheery every saturday with my worship and praise on my lips. it is ironic really. the way life twists and turns. i am on this rollercoaster and it never ends. i was riding the waves. i was taking the falls. and i was vomitting up all the bullshit i used to swallow down. used to ask if there was a better way to take those pills. to shoot it up. inhale, exhale. where was i going with that. where was i going in life. down the drain. passed out of the floor of a bedroom with pills in my hand. was i an ending. or a beginning. nothing seemed clear. i was tearing apart everything that used to be real. was i dreaming. or was everything crashing down. was i free. or were those bars surrounding me. was it strange how i spent my time those days. wearing myself out. doing nothing at all. dwelling on thoughts that meant nothing at all.
so fast and it was gone leaving me counting upon my fingers how many silly memories i had of myself. maybe we all crash and burn at some point in our lives. maybe we all fall. picking up the pieces just isn't on everyone's agenda. but arent you so glad there's this great Him up there to pick up the fallen you? wells, i am.
][jukebox][ david meece - forgiven
][feeling][ assurred.
bitinn` awayy at 9:07 AM
Thursday, May 08, 2003but no. im not gonna fall apart
shoes is giving me pressure with the dance of the blessed spirits. -shakes head- i havent been playing classical on the piano for a long long time. esp for exams. and now she wants me to do it, i feel so. urgh. not up to it. though it's a lento piece. the whole thing is semi-quavered! sheesh. and the keys run like more than an octave apart. but im doing pretty fine for only page one of the scores. looking at the second page full of semiquavers just makes me go bonkers. -hops around- im actually in a pretty hyper mood after fiddling with my clavinova. was deciding whether i should write out skin on skin or shen qing xiang yong on the organ. cos these two songs have been ringing in my head recently. was about to settle on skin on skin when i listened to it again and felt it's more bossa nova style and repetitive and it's on the fsharp major. whereas shen qing xiang yong is on e major and has more variations one the left hand and pedals. makes me feel better. -grinns. i really love songs with powerful vocals. am crossing my fingers about fel being able to reach high on our song. was getting the chorus notes fixed and you know what. the highest note is e. tried to lower it but... -shakes head-. the arranger should do it right, shoes? -pictures her jumping up and down outside the mep room after she saw her name on the list as an arranger- when asked what's wrong with her, she exclaims ever so excitedly, "that's what joe hahn does!" now. do you want a turntable too shoes? and i thought of sth for val to do besides coming up with the lyrics. that is.... -drum rolls- the role of a dancer! yes! toe! you can do a lil ballet if we ever get a chance to perform. know youre like worried and upset you can't be on stage. -wide wide grinns-
tonight's ami was real red. you know why? cos clay was oh so good. but there was sth wrong with the size of his oh so magical blue eyes. but im so happy joshua gracin is out!!! buhbye! the real talents are still on the couch. -grinns- today has been so good cos i got to nap in the afternoon and do some reading. and i was trying to study ss a minute ago. but that was such an agony. mens. my sister is one jealous girl. it's proven and tested you know. she gets jealous over the slightest stuff. not being able to draw or have new shoes is not a very great deal, val.
sat's service's gonna be an eye opener to many of you out there. hahs. and of cos, myself. but coming to think of it, a new beginning will always make an impact. -walks off to curl in a corner for nightly prayers-
][jukebox][ shen qing xiang yong
][feeling][ pretty hyped.
bitinn` awayy at 8:11 AM
Wednesday, May 07, 2003god. god. god. god. youre all i need. period.
][jukebox][ steven curtis chapman - when love takes you in
][feeling][ shagged
bitinn` awayy at 8:15 AM
Tuesday, May 06, 2003im like so zonked. did outdoor filming today. was really hilarious. just praying they wont put in on hopenews bloopers or something. taught wynnie cheong how to play the piano. -shakes head- mens. what a student. hahas. had organ lessons after that followed by shepherding. was chatting with jessie on my bed til both of us fell aslp. she was curled up at one end of the bed and me at the other. and i woke up at ten to realise she was gone and ive seven chapters of chemistry to study for tomms. and im hacing a very bad flu now. sighs. and toe just msged me she's not goin to sch tomms. and my bro just emailed me a whole lot more chunks of stuff to do for him. ahhs. im not feeling well now.
][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal
][feeling][ sick
bitinn` awayy at 8:43 AM
Monday, May 05, 2003so exciting. -beamms- my bro's getting married. -rubs hands in delight- can't wait. really. to see him settle down and all. yea. i'll go to his condo everyday mens. it's facing the sea. cool rights. -grinns- and the wedding dinner's gonna be in the knighty style. cos he's a captain in the army. how cool. mmmmms. fullerton. mmmmms. nice food. mmmmms. can't wait.
anyways. had an enjoyable dinner today with eelee jessie debbie shuping huishi. nice nice. under the night sky. lol. nice fellowship. shared really lame jokes. jessie's "leg pulling" joke was a good one. -nod nods- oh wells. tired. let's not get to the details of the day. =)
][jukebox][ evanescence - my immortal [hooked onto it]
][feeling][ zonked.
bitinn` awayy at 8:32 AM
Sunday, May 04, 2003:)
bitinn` awayy at 8:50 AM
```unravel.
a slow burning ecstasy//guitar and the day moon//petrol stations on the road//with no destination//you loved me in august//but you dont see me//so much more beautiful in april
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jessie's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.
ex.neb8.
ex.clique.
bbq.130902.
siloso.300802.
pei.ron.yang.
ed.joe.ron.ser.
130503
140503
```lookingback.
splendiferus.
phagocytosis.
insync.
a slow burning ecstasy//guitar and the day moon//petrol stations on the road//with no destination//you loved me in august//but you dont see me//so much more beautiful in april
```his child.
ron. 170387// icq.#74777649// yhoppie// deco ministry// neb3// jessie's.sheep// stnix// 4dee// sngg//
turnons. Him// red.black// two// tea// spag// piano// clavinova// EL-87// guitar// drummers// strawberry// peach// apple// tomato// chilli//
turnoffs. creepy crawlees// school// unoriginals// noise// imood.
```lookingood.
blacknwhite.
mvpcg.
170303.
fourdiligence.
cl huddle.
ex.neb8.
ex.clique.
bbq.130902.
siloso.300802.
pei.ron.yang.
ed.joe.ron.ser.
130503
140503
```lookingback.
splendiferus.
phagocytosis.
insync.